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fan fiction




Gym Wanker

A Foolproof Guide To Gym Excellence!!

A Close Observation Of Human Behaviour

So, Hands Up Who's A Gym Wanker Then?

I'm A Level 3 Class Wanker (Very Disappointing)


Have you got what it takes to become an accomplished gym wanker?


You may already even be one and never knew! Being a gym wanker is NOT for everyone, for some it's a natural progression of their personality and for others its almost a calling. Advanced level wankerbility can take years of solid graft and determination be warned and prepared; you will never master it all, not everyone can be a total gym wanker.


Within my book there are pointers for the amateur wanker right up to the more advanced where you can try a variety of wanker combinations; some wankerish styles will take time, practice and patience. Do not rush into your wanker characterisms, start with little gym wanker steps first.


If you are determined enough becoming an exceptional gym wanker may well be within your grasp, people may not say it, but they will look at you and say to themselves look at that absolute wanker.


This book is dedicated to a life spent within the gymnasium, where author Kevin Horak takes us through 60 different types of Gym Wanker that exist within modern day gym life!! From sweaty wanker, to the very fast wanker, trendy tattoo wanker and of course the Donald Trump hair manoeuvre wanker.


This humorous account takes us through what we all witness in modern day gym life but not just in the gym but the changing rooms afterwards.


This highly funny but accurate book details the people you will see in gym life and the reader can grade themselves to see if they are indeed a Gym Wanker!!


The author grades himself as a Level 3 Class gym wanker and throughout the book there are tick boxes for the reader to indentify how big a gym wanker they may possibly be.


A scoring system is provided and if you have what it takes you can achieve a Level 10 Max Rating!!


At times somewhat irreverent and with examples of human behaviour that will make you shiver, Horak has taken modern day living and put a humorous twist on it written equally for women as much as men.


Thank you Russell!!


What The Book Covers:

Chapter 1: In The Gym, Gym Wankers

1.Yelling and grunting wanker

2.Amateur bench press arm curl wanker

3.Full stack wanker

4.Front double guns wanker

5.Singing and whistling wanker

6.The very fast wanker

7.Legs day wanker

8.Slam the dumbbells wanker

9.Ladies man wanker

10.Talking about conquests with ladies wanker

11.Posing wanker

12.Punch bag wanker

13.Walking like He-Man wanker

14.Arnold wanker

15.The wankers wanker

16.Hung-over/vomiting wanker

17.Sweaty wanker

18.Body Odour wanker

Chapter 3, Commercial Chain Gym Wankers


40.Reception wanker

41.Big Jeremy wanker

42.Commercial music gym wankers

43.Commercial gym crap food wankers

44.The no exercise personal training wanker

45.I’m a masseuse and available for home visits wanker

46.Virtual wankers


Chapter 2, In the Gym, The Style Wankers


19.Short shorts wanker

20.Sunglasses wanker

21.Hat wanker

22.Oversize clothing wanker

23.Fake tan wanker

24.Trendy tattoo Wanker

25.Jeans wanker

26.Long socks wanker

27.Checking your hair wanker

28.Middle aged cap back to front wanker

29.Sauna open legs wanker

30.Staring at bums wanker

31.I don’t want to look like a bodybuilder wanker

32.Couples wankers

33.Phone wanker

34.Selfie wanker

35.Instagram wanker

36.Kardashian wanker

37.Clicky wankers

38.Go to the gym twice in January wanker

39.Start my diet next week wanker

Chapter 4, Changing Room Wankers


47.The Donald Trump hair manoeuvre wanker

48.The football political wanker

49.Protein wanker

50.Bleeding wanker

51.Gear wanker

52.Shoulder hair wanker

53.Hair drying back hair wanker

54.Pubes wanker

55.Toenail clippings wanker

56.Doesn’t pay for lockers – tight ass wanker

57.Naked old wanker

58.The winking wanker

59.Cheap aftershave/deodorant wanker

60.Grower not a shower wanker

Publisher: Clearwater Publishing Limited (15 Nov. 2016)

ISBN-10: 0955776945

ISBN-13: 978-0955776946

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